stop the presses

i realized that there is only one thing i regret about my life....i regret the decisions that i made in the past...the fact that i couldn't give you a complete reason is what saddens me the most..you made me happy, you made me feel like i was a person and that i was different from most other ppl....somewhere i lost sight of that, i got immersed in self-image and the fact that i couldn't handle being like that was what made me turn away...i can't handle being happy, it's something that i'm unsure of because i haven't really been happy...i wrote about you, about what you mean to me and what it felt like to hold you in my arms..you saw me through rough times, you helped me even though i didn't want it...that's what makes me regret...the little things that you did me. yet i wasn't even able to tell you about how much of a difference that made...i don't think i let you know how glad i was to be together.......

the worst pain of realizing all of this is the fact that we barely talk anymore..if only forgiving me were an option, things might be alright again..



"Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person, and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much? So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze. It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds. You let this one person come down for the most perfect moment. And it breaks my heart to know, the only reason, you are here now is, a reminder of what I'll never have..I'll never have..I'll never...standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in..standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in. But this table for one has become bearable. I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you. Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much? So much it's like choking down the embers of a great blaze. It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds. And you let this one person come down..come down. I cherish you..I cherish you. Just say that you would do the same for me..just say you would do the same me..just say you would do the same...just say you would do the same for me..."